Robbie Williams: Slane Castle, Dublin

OVER 80,000 people stand for hours in the baking sun wearing alternately flashing red devil horns, KISS make-up and the occasional latex Homer Simpson mask. They have to endure sets from Placebo and Stereophonics. Oh the humanity. But they are the lucky ones. Because for miles outside the grass verges are strewn with tens of thousands of ticketless youths, ripped to their sunburnt tits and revelling with a lewd and reckless abandon that tightened the sphincters and frightened the living shit out of the VIP London'n'Dublin music biz dilettantes as they glided by in their luxury coaches. It is mental. It's Craggy Island meets Mad Max on crack.