The Slits: Irving Plaza, New York NY
Andy Schwartz, New York Rocker, February 1981
AM I THE only man in the house tonight with the sudden and irrepressible urge to take Ari Up over my knee and give her a good spanking? Not for any perverse sexual reasons, you understand, but because I find some of her onstage comments unwarranted and annoying. Like when she scolds tonight's packed-in and obviously enthusiastic crowd for not dancing, or for somehow not being sufficiently at one with the band. ("We're not animals in the zoo, y'know," she cries.) Of course, in the crush at the front of the stage, there's hardly room to breathe much less dance. And if the fans were really "at one" with the Slits, they'd climb aboard and commandeer the equipment, and how would Ari like that?
Total word count of piece: 540