Rick Astley: Le Zenith, Paris

SO THIS IS what we're supposed to be getting so angry about. Tonight is my first proper pop concert, and it's bizarre. They're screaming! At first it seems arbitrary and misdirected — without wishing to be cruel (heh heh), he's not exactly handsome, is he? But when I look around me it all makes sense: not an audience of lust-crazed knickerwetting 14-year-olds, but a crowd of very normal couples in their mid-Twenties, most of them in pac-a-macs and glasses, a lot of them waving lighters to the slow numbers. The urbane in full pursuit of the inane!