Mai Tai: A fashion designer, an ex fare-dodger and someone who tells the rudest jokes imaginable

"I'VE ONLY ever seen one windmill in my whole life," insists Carolein firmly. Only one windmill? But this is Holland, land of windmills, clogs, tulips and very naff pop groups who do quite well in the Eurovision Song Contest. "No, no, no," they laugh, just a teeny bit offended, pointing out that though there are lots of tulips there's hardly any windmills in Holland, and none of them would be caught dead wearing a pair of clogs, thank you very much. In fact, they reckon Holland doesn't seem at all odd compared to England.