Les Rhythmes Digitales: ULU, London

TEN MINUTES into the gig and Monsieur Jacques Lu Cont is about to have his cover blown, thanks to an oblivious Derek Dahlarge. "Stuart, Stuart!" screams the bearded big beat loon, causing heads to turn in amazement. Hang on pal, isn't this some lunatic French kid called Jacques, newly released on day parole from some Parisian nut-bin? Apparently not. It turns out the only mad things about the main man behind Les Rhythmes Digitales are, firstly he has crimson hair as a result of a bet with Wall Of Sound boss Mark Jones (Mr Digitales must have lost, clearly). And secondly, the fact he's not yet an established superstar with a never-ending trail of super-vixen groupies on his case.