Wet Wet Wet: Christmas is...
Sylvia Patterson, Smash Hits, 15 December 1987
...Love? Peace on earth? Goodwill to all "man" kind? Not ruddy well likely, say Wet Wet Wet (except for Tommy because he's a weed). It's all about hurling action men off cliffs, choking on mother's "trifle" and enduring ghastly family singsongs...
Total word count of piece: 2685