Debbie Gibson: She's a crazy rock'n'roll vixen from hell!!!(?)
Chris Heath, Smash Hits, 3 May 1989
Actually, she's not. She's a perfectly charming young lass who likes George Michael and wearing glasses and playing the piano and, more than anything else in the whole wide world*, talking to a jumper-clad Smash Hits reporter called Chris Heath.
*not strictly true
Total word count of piece: 1253