The Beastie Boys: The Most Horrible Group In The Universe?
uncredited writer, Smash Hits, 25 February 1987
They play ear-splitting heavy metal rap music, they throw food on the carpet, they throw eggs at Sigue Sigue Sputnik, they hate the Human League ("faggots"), A-ha ("wimpy"), Duran Duran ("hairdo rock'n'roll") and Michael Jackson ("wack"), they proclaim proudly that they're "really stupid" and Bitz thinks they're quite good actually.
Total word count of piece: 979